I have many homeschooling friends who have lost their Christian kids to the world and the devil. Just let that soak in a moment. They lost them. They're transvestites. Atheists. Homosexuals. God haters. Parent haters.
If that isn't your worst fear as a homeschooling educator or Christian teacher, short of their untimely death, I don't know what is.
Today I want to talk about not so much my view on why this is happening (maybe later) but what we can do to prevent it.
This is going to be brief but I'm going to be blunt.
1. Youth Group
Youth group is one of these new-fangled contraptions that for some reason so many Christian homeschooling parents who have deliberately protected their children by homeschooling them see no problem with. Yeah, I have a problem with it. Who is in their church youth group? Are they all the homeschool buddies? Maybe. But more likely they are the kids that you wanted to avoid mixing your kids with because they have totally different values. And now you're throwing them in with these kids as part of their formative faith development. How often do I hear parents say, "Johnny wants a nose ring and came home from youth group asking about transgender bathrooms."
I'm not talking about sheltering your kids from those sorts of conversations. But with whom should they be having them? With the 22 year old youth pastor? With their peers? You know the answer.
2. Church
Doctrine. Is it there? Or is church a fun time where you get to experience emotional feelings, sing awesome songs with a cool band, and hear a message about how God wants to bless you? Just sayin'.
3. Martyrs
Do your children have any idea what their faith cost those who came before them? Do you? How is your knowledge of church history? Our family reads scripture, a quote from the church fathers, and a story about a saint/martyr every day. This is vital. Their faith is not to be taken lightly or as though it came cheaply to them. I don't care which denomination you are in. If you're Orthodox, read the Prologue or start with this. Catholics have saint books and similar calendars. I believe there is a Book of the Martyrs for Protestants as well. The digital versions are usually super cheap.
Your children need to understand the tortures that, for instance, Maximus the Confessor, endured (having his tongue cut out) to pass on a rich, sound faith to them.
4. Exposure to Immorality Through Media
I cannot walk my kids by the grocery store aisle without asking them to avert their eyes. Kaitlin Jenner is all the rage. Do your kids watch Youtube videos to learn crafts or other things? The sidebar is full of immoral propaganda that has been chosen by Youtube for this children's video.
Scrolling through Amazon movies to see what the kids can watch? Transparent (the show about the transvestite dad) is front and center. Every. Single. Time.
Pinterest? Same story. Facebook? You betcha. Modern "young adult" literature? Full of profanity and immoral sexuality. There is a war on for your children. Please stop participating in their moral destruction.
How about giving them devices? Don't think so. Your kid has a SMARTPHONE? An iPad? Anything with unrestricted internet access? I have a hard time expressing how detrimental this is. Do you have any idea how many adults...how many pastors....struggle with this stuff? And you are handing these items over to your kids? Nonsensical. Take the drug war advice from the 80s and "just say no!"
Of course, they're going to get exposure all over the place so train them, train them, train them how to avoid the pitfalls of these things in our culture!
5. Personal Connection
Just as your children need to have a deeply rooted understanding of their faith ancestors, they also need to understand your history. At least once a week, connect with your kids by telling them about you. About your childhood. Things that you remember, loved, and what impacted you at every stage of your life. Talk about your favorite memories, your worst moments, your embarrassments, your fears, your struggles. Stay age appropriate but never stop sharing you with them. Your kids are part of a tradition. Your tradition.
Stay connected to them by asking at dinner each night, "What is your high/low?" In other words, what was the best and worst thing that happened today? Don't judge their answers. Just listen. Be honest about your own highs and lows.
Have a time of family repentance where you lead by asking if you need to apologize for anything specifically; ask this of each child. Encourage them to do the same.
Remember kids who feel emotionally connected, listened to, and cared about tend to have deeper ties to their families and place value there.
There are no parenting guarantees and it is a major mistake to think so. People sin. You could do everything right and be the very best parent and your kids may still go astray. I am very aware of that. But these are best practices, in my opinion, not guarantees.
At some point I'm going to talk about the "why" behind Christians losing their kids to the enemy and the world. But for now, let's just stop the bleeding.
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